Remember when, we never needed each other The best of friends like Sister and Brother We understood, we'd never be, Alone Those days are gone, and I want you so much The night is long and I need your touch Don't know what to say I never meant to feel this way Don't want to be Alone tonight chorus: What can I do, to make you mine Falling so hard so fast this time What did I say, what did you do? How did I fall in love with you? I hear your voice And I start to tremble Brings back the child that, I resemble I cannot pretend, that we can still be friends Don't want to be, Alone tonight chorus: What can I do, to make you mine Falling so hard so fast this time What did I say, what did you do? How did I fall in love with you? Bridge: Oh I want to say this right And it has to be tonight Just need you to know, oh yeah I don't want to live this life I don't want to say goodbye With you I wanna spend The rest of my life chorus: What can I do, to make you mine Falling so hard so fast this time What did I say, what did you do? How did I fall in love with you? What can I do, to make you mine Falling so hard so fast this time Everything's changed, we never knew How did I fall, in love, with you?

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chia.natalie law.vivian hu.tiny

BBF, do you really think we can be best friends forever?

i dont know what your thinking. i just dont get you.
i dont want to talk to you anymore. well, not that i hate you or anything. but its just that, things change.


i guess part of me know the truth. and want to hide away from it. maybe its just that i dont want to face the truth. sometimes truth is something that is too harsh for us to face and to deal with. i dont know what to do. to confront you? what else can i do?


you said this friendship might not come back anymore...
and im sorry. i guess its not you fault. partly my fault too. things these days are too much for me to handle.


you think i can really keep the promise? im not sure anymore =S
this is fake...the friendship we've shared is fake..
tell me that you only treat me as a friend. your best friend for life. nothing else...


講友情永固 真的嗎?
你覺得我們的友情真的會長久嗎? 其實那真的不是故意的迴避 只不過 除了迴避以外 我們還能怎樣?


你那裝好心的樣子讓我覺得很噁心
你其實 根本不是關心我對誰有感覺 不是嗎?


我只是知道...我們兩個 都很虛偽

標籤： 心情

there are just so muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhh to do. yet so little time to finish. 3=
just tell me how much i really hate about my life! T^T


recently so many things happened. i dont know why. but seems like these things, the same events, the same thing said, tend to reoccur every two months. im just so sick of what is happening to me. im sick of everything. i dont wana hear your lies anymore. saying that you care and all that, but always hurt me in the worst possible way.


my fault too. and im sorry. i know im always so selfish, trying to make you the way i want you to be. im sorry. really, i am really sorry. i know i shouldnt expect so much from you. expecting things mean im care and that you mean much to me.


you do mean something to me, more than a friend, even if you didnt realise. but i just dont think this is going to work. i mean, not that you didnt try hard. but its just that, i realised people with different values and beliefs could never last long and are never meant to be together. things might change in the future. but there is nothing we can be ascertain of. you cannot make a promise that you can love me forever, and i dont believe that with someone like you the relationship is going to work. its just that we have different views on things and that our personalities are so different...and it is just not going to work.


plus. i no longer believe that young relationships can last long. maybe they can. but its just that i dont believe and i wont believe anymore. you are pushing things too hard, too fast. this is way too much for us to cope with.


im sorry. and im angry with you.
i cant pretend that im so forgiving anymore. we tend to hurt those we are close with. and i agree.


its just wat you said on wednesday hurt me, but its also that, after all things we've been through, and all these times when trust are broken, i dont think i can cope with this fake friendship anymore. im grateful that you were there when i need you. but im just angry at you. i dont know why you have to be so close, declaring your love but never prove it. your making things so complicated. we could have been friends. but you just have to draw near, and saying watever you can to hurt me as much as possible so that i can rely on you.


this is just not what love is. not even friendship.


you might care for me more than anyone else on this earth, but you just have to use the most hurtful way to express it. and i mean what i said before. i dont hate you or anything. its just that im angry at you and i dont wana see you anymore. its not that im avoiding you or anything. and stop telling people how upset you are because this is what you've done and you should face the consequences! just because you like someone and you get hurt by her, it doesnt mean you can blame everything on her. think about what you've done to me, how many times you destroyed this faith i have, and the times when you destroy this friendship we have. the times you betrayed me, you chose to ignore me. all these times! where were you? do you ever think about how i feel when you say these things? when you complain about me to the people im trying to avoid the most, do you think you were actually doing the right thing?


dont wrap your lies with all these candy and sugar and coated chocolate. i dont wana hear them anymore because i begin to understand who you really are. well, at least this is what you've proven to me.


stop thinking that your so innocent and that im hurting you all the time. i got angry at you and everytime i chose to forgive, because i truly think that you didnt do it on purpose. but after all these times, do you think i will still believe all these lies, that you didnt mean to do all these things?


i will forgive. but i can never act like nothing happened anymore. i dont wana be so close with you anymore. i mean, you are still a friend, but what more can you be than a friend? dont expect anyone to trust you. because you didnt prove yourself. you never proved yourself that you are trust worthy. what right do you have to say that you are hurt by someone?


right now. i just want to let go. i just dont wana hate you or have to deal with you anymore.
i wana distance myself from you.


this is it. there is no need to say sorry or to apologise what youve done wrong.
we hurt each other in a way anyway.

標籤： 心情

變態 那是我第一個感覺
怎麼說呢 總是覺得 不要把你的幻想加於在我身上


我已經不想繼續了 有點想放棄的感覺
可是 放棄不在我的字典裡面 我的座右銘 永不放棄


在聽一首歌 雖然跟現在心情真的不一樣
可是 還是覺得蠻好聽的 戴愛玲的好想看星星

情不自禁 常常會自言自語
每天寫日記 就好像在給你寫信喜歡

這樣相信 有思念的心情
就算已不在一起 某個部份還連繫明明住在

同樣一個城市裡 你頭上是藍天
我的窗上卻有雨滴你的問候關心 隱約有種距離

討厭你說對不起 像你懂我一直過得不順心
我不能說 好孤寂 倔強的人沒勇氣 對走開的人傾訴感情

我好想看星星 海邊的夜景
風 會把我的心撫平 太想念不行對忘了我的人 太苦苦想念不行

看恆星閃真情讓舊愛像流星
等一顆溫柔的恆心
故做輕鬆 轉話題 只不過閒聊幾句 卻感覺精疲力盡

我不能說 好孤寂 倔強的人沒勇氣 對走開的人傾訴感情
墬落到大海 沉澱成遺憾 卻很美好的記憶

曾經 小姐也是這樣子

為一個人哭為一個人笑

彷彿 世界上只有他一個人了

這種感覺 從不能忘記 因為 讓我醒起 曾經我犯的錯誤

雖然說愛一個人不是一種錯 可是 愛錯一個人的確是一種錯

要怪的就是自己 問自己為甚麼這麼容易愛上一個人

為甚麼這麼容易 就可以付出自己的真心

愛難 想不愛 也難 想愛 也難

大家每天都是被這樣的 困綁住

標籤： 小記, 歌詞

該死的 最近小姐瘋了 一定是瘋了....
他說得對 或者 再這樣下去 彼此跟難受


其實我明白自己到底在做甚麼
我明白 跟人家和好後 真的有那種想法
不是玩弄的意思 而是只不過覺得
愛情是兩人的事情 其他人管也管不著
他們可以給意見 可是最後決定的人還是自己


希望友人看到這篇文章以後不要生氣 因為一開始我真的沒有聽你的意思
唉唷 希望你明白啦 我真的知道你是為我們好的
可是 我真的希望可以自己選擇一次
我也沒有跟你講太多 因為我知道你投的是反對票


最近 我想通了很多事情 [今天想通的更多. 謝謝友人啦 愛死你啦~ <3]>
我想 經過這兩個星期的相處 我真的學會了很多事情
我想 我開始明白 自己要的是甚麼
我真的有想過放開 可是到了最後才明白不適合
到了現在 已經不想造成更多的傷害了


友人二號說得對 或許 既然已經知道答案了
就不要再沉迷下去了


至於今天跟友人講電話的事情呢
其實 我已經基本上復原 只不過 有一些事情挑出來以後 就難免再講幾句


我一步一步已經很努力
也不會隨便想太多


我. 永. 遠. 不. 忘. 記. 記. 憶. 中. 的. 你
因. 為. 曾. 經. 愛. 過.


才發現 原來不愛的感覺不是恨
才發現 原來放開後 還可以祝福

永遠都得不到的安全感

或許 問題不在你們身上 只不過是性格不同 思想不同而已
是的 我承認 本身就很缺乏安全感


不再相信 只要相愛就可以在一起
有更多的因素影響一段關係
如果 不懂得學會體諒身邊的朋友 不懂得學會保護珍惜的人
不知道 還有什麼可以證明 在你心中的地位


我很清楚 誰可以遵守諾言
可是信任 並不是說相信就可以相信
沒有了證明 學不會證明 又怎樣說自己是一個只得信賴的人呢


好朋友 總是一個讓人難堪的藉口
好朋友的說話 你會選擇相信嗎?
好朋友總是那個你會傾訴心事的人


相信好朋友的話 我的話就再沒有了價值
這麼會讓人誤會的關係 叫我怎能去相信
可是我 不想要任何人因為我的自私而失去朋友
矛盾地 希望有人可以證明 我這個朋友 值得你們放棄那段友情


只想有人證明 他們的真心 而已


只是 你們都不會明白 那種感受
那種 被人懷疑 自卑的種感受


學會了 忽略她的一言一語
可是學不會 放開懷抱 相信自己最關心的人 到了最後還是會再我身旁


沒有人有這股勇氣 也沒有被人出賣過的感覺
算了 說多無謂


不要再問我 會不會相信你
讓我相信你的唯一辦法就是那種絕對證明
我知道你們沒有人做得到 因為 我在你們心中的地位 沒有比誰高


是生氣 可是不是生你們的氣
我問自己 為甚麼這麼在乎 為甚麼這麼在乎身邊的人的看法....


閒話聽多了 會厭倦


那一天 她站在校園裡面 只想要有一個人可以替她出頭
覺得累了 最後發現 可以依靠的人只有自己


生氣的並不是那人的把戲 而是發現 即使大家口裡說有多麼討厭 還是選擇了 和她做要好的朋友


想哭的 可是 已經不知道為甚麼而哭了
不想恨 可是 這樣的事情發生了 氣應該從哪裡發洩呢?

標籤： 心情

once again. she fell to the same trap again.
but this time she decided that this is not going to bother her anymore.


its finished. all the things that once made her cry were gone.
never will she turn back again. by his mercy she knows that she is loved and treasured.


最近的功課煩死人啦. 物理物理物理 我討厭你


此外, 最近發生的事情蠻多的嘛
今天和其中一個友人冰釋前疑 不過 他的話更讓我不安


首先最想罵的人當然是那個起源者啦
要不是他隨便亂說話 也不會造成這麼大的誤會
誤人子弟呢 真是的~


很生氣這一種人 什麼都不知道 卻要裝做甚麼都知道
還要自作聰明散布謠言
不要以為你很懂我 你根本就甚麼都不了解
明明不關你的事 你卻要插手過來我的事情
甚麼態度嘛~


朋友朋友 你還是選擇了不相信我
不被信任的感覺 還真的蠻糟糕的
終於肯告訴我真心話了吧 可是我卻覺得現在事情愈來愈複雜


難道 你還可以這樣虛偽下去嗎?
如果 你對我只是妹妹這樣看待的話


突然間 覺得整個人被蒙在鼓裡
我真的不明白 對你來言 我是誰
在你心中 我有甚麼地位
還有 你憑甚麼認為我出賣了你


一段簡簡單單的關係都比你們搞砸了 都弄得複雜了
給你們全部人都氣死了


人看似總是被內心堅強


不錯嘛 大家也是這樣做人的阿
為了躲避 大家都開始學習了怎樣逃避 怎樣學會堅強


想哭的時候哭不出來 想要裝的時候裝不出來 很難


不知道為甚麼 現在所有事情都這麼微妙地連在一起
我不想再被牽連了 真的 很累了


我想躺下來 慢慢地休息了


真的 不想再要裝出來了


或許 應該從另外一個角度看事情吧
可是我做不到 我真的不知道 應該怎樣往後退一步 把事情看清楚


從事情外面的觀察者 變成了牽連在裡面的人
我覺得很煩厭 也很想去恨那些人


可是 我真的不想變得更那些人一模一樣
不想再為了討好別人而犧牲自己了
因為 已經厭倦了為別人而過的那種生活方式


不想再要因為你們的眼光而存在
不想再要因為你們而傷心難過了
不想再要因為你們的想法而逃避自己


你們誰的意見 對我的看法都不重要
因為我知道 我永遠跟你們也不一樣


或許 有時候 人們的想法都不是很重要吧


每一個人對事情的看法都不同
人誰無錯 又有誰可以保證自己的想法一定是對的呢?


we learn not to hurt others because we have been wronged once. may it be a reminder for us not to repeat the same mistake again.

標籤： 心情

我應該問你事情的真相嗎?
還是 把事情調談會比較好?
最近你要逃避的人 應該是我吧
是否代表你....


我們之間的諾言 這樣子還可靠嗎?

標籤： 心情

recently ive been reading a book called "extraordinary" by John Bevere. =] a book that i received from my leader as a birthday present. really grateful that she brought me the book and it was so empowering! =D


i havent finished the book and is barely up to half of the book, nevertheless i was just so surprised the fact that what it talks about is exactly what ive been struggling to believe and to do. i finally recognise what is the catalyst required to change my life.


recently ive been doing devotions- real devotions where i meditate on his words and relate things back to my life. life is never so fulfilling. although i know i still fail in some aspects of my life but i know that by the grace and mercy of God i am saved. and that if i constantly seeks him that never will he forsake me. this is something that he promised to me early in my life and something i will adhere to regardless of the circumstances.


there is this chapter in the book talking about our projected image, deceived image and our actual image. projected image- what people to see in us; deceived image- the image we want people to see us as and actual image- who we really are.


soon i realised that our projected and deceived image is rather deceptional. who we are is not just the image we project to the world, but rather, who we really are and how we deal with people, our intentions and heart is the most important thing out of everything else. when i read this i kept challenging myself to forgive those who wronged me, and also, pray for healing, especially those who ive hurted in the past. at the same time, i also pray that i am no longer frustrated and raged about the way people see me because how they see me is not as important as how my god sees me. if i want to please him then it is not upto the world to judge me. furthermore, i shouldnt uphold anyone above God.


as i walked home on friday, i can hear the holy spirit telling me to keep preserve and run the race in front of me (hebrews 12:1). who i am is definitely not the way people judge me and that i am wonderfully and fearfully made by him (psalm 139:14).


The second inspiration i had this week is when my mum had her car accident where she nearly died if she drove a little bit faster. Fortunately and by the grace of God she was only injured a little bit. on that very morning i had a fight with her where i was complaining about lunch and all that stuff. When i thought about it later, i was almost crying. If she was killed by that car accident i would have regretted throughout my life, that i couldnt love her the way i wanted to. i realises sometimes we just need to grasp the opportunity to show our care to our loved ones, rather to regret it later in life. and i challenge whoever reading this at the moment, to love and forgive the ones who hurted you in life. =]


didnt feel like typing chinese today. sorry guys. and this is not something i intended to write either. although feeling reluctant to write this at first, but i just ended up writing what im writing right now because this is just something on my heart this week. =]

標籤： 小記

憤怒 懷疑 悲痛
這三種感覺同時間出現


我開始懷疑自己 到了最後 才想起了 自己現在已經不再為了別人的眼光而活
與其一直恨下去 不如重新開始去珍惜身邊的一切
與其要證明給別人看 不如自己好好地向著目標奔跑


本來 應該因為他們的話而一直憂鬱下去
本來 應該把自己關在黑暗的房間裡面
可是我選擇了不再在乎別人對我的看法


應該感謝你們的 可是對不起 現在的我還是無法原諒你們對我的不禮貌
你們的虛偽 還有 總是自以為是的那種態度
我討厭你們兩個這種幼稚的行為 為甚麼還不能抽離過去呢?


我生氣這件事的第三者 三年後這次事件的起源者
我不知道為甚麼你不肯相信我的改變 也不明白為甚麼要自以為是地 把我出賣


我想 現在的我真的已經放開了 因為這一次以後
無論我發生了什麼事情 我都會以最真實的自己去面對


而她的話的確敲醒了我 我真的想要長大了
不是為了任何人 而是為了我自己 還有 那一個一直在我身邊的神
我想要我身邊的朋友看到我的改變 也不要再被所有人蒙蔽在泡泡裡面了


謝謝natalie 還有 vivian還是沒有離棄我
也想宣布 請兩位從今天開始跟我坦白地說你們對我不滿的事情
因為有時候真相到了最後才知道的話 更殘酷


每一個人都有自己的錯誤
我不會讓我的錯誤繼續下去的
以前的或者大家都不會忘記
可是我一定會把它成為我最珍貴的教訓 =]

標籤： 心情

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